Banana Drama
Posted by: leanp on: January 3, 2010
One of the most puzzling mysteries, not to mention most frustrating, of motherhood has to do with feeding little ones. This morning my son asked to have a banana. I responded, “Are you sure you want a banana? Are you going to eat it if I peel it for you?” He assured me that he wanted the banana. So I peeled it and set it in front of him.
He took one nibble off the top and said “I don’t want it.”
Aaak! I was so mad. “You said you wanted the banana. You need to eat the banana. Mommy got it for you. It’s rude and wasteful if you don’t eat it,” I told him sternly.
He replied simply, “I don’t want it.” Then he handed it back.
I really had to control my anger. “Why don’t you want the banana now?” I inquired.
“I just don’t want it,” he informed me. Doh. I clenched my fist and let out a frustrated and tense “Uugghh!” “Please eat your BANANA Sean,” to which he responded with a whiney and borderline tantrum sounding “No! Don’t want it, mamma.”
“Fine. No more bananas for you,” I threatened, feeling like I had stooped down to preschool level as I slouched in my chair and pouted.
My son looked at me and asked, “You happy mamma?”
“Nope. I am very mad. I want you to eat the banana YOU asked for Sean.”
“No. Don’t want it.” Then the subject was dropped. I face this scenario several times a week with different foods…foods he likes and eats no less! Sometimes with snacks, sometimes at mealtime. He asks for something specific. I verify and clarify what it is he wants and that he ACTUALLY wants it. Then I serve it only to have him take a NIBBLE and discard the rest. It is so maddening to me and and puzzling. Is is just my kid or is this what all three-year olds do? I honestly don’t handle the situation well, as you can see, because I don’t know how. Any ideas?
Image courtesy of here.
Need my Babes
Posted by: leanp on: December 28, 2009
On Christmas Eve I had a rare and once in a mother’s lifetime opportunity. I had the house to myself the whole night…overnight. I didn’t have to put anyone to bed, except for myself, and I didn’t have to wake up early if I didn’t want to. I could sleep in as long as I wanted. No one to answer to except myself. Ahhhh, pure bliss right? I snuggled into bed in my comfy pjs and oversized sweatshirt, cuddled up with my sweet kitty and got ready for heaven.
After about a half hour I finally fell asleep only to wake up three hours later. It was only 3:55am. I was restless and wide awake. For two hours I tried everything I could think of to go back to sleep. I was exhausted, but my mind and body would not let me rest. Finally at 5:45 I got up. I was angry and annoyed at myself for not being able to sleep! I even cried a few tears of frustration while I brewed a pot of coffee in the silence. I decided to make the best of the early morning and popped in White Christmas. I haven’t been able to watch that movie in about three years and now I had the time and the tv to myself. I enjoyed every second of it!
I pondered over why I could not sleep, why I couldn’t take advantage of this amazing and surely to be coveted by my mom friends opportunity. I figured out that I need my family around me. It doesn’t matter how tired I am, how sapped I get, how frustrated I become from all that is demanded of me from my family, I need them. I am less settled in the empty silence. I need the peace sometimes, but I need a peace that is full and surrounded with my kids and husband. I think that’s important for me to know. I was really tired all Christmas day with only three hours of sleep under my belt, but I felt content.
Image courtesy of here.
They make me crazy but they make me smile
Posted by: leanp on: December 22, 2009
- In: Life| Motherhood
- 1 Comment
As much as they drive me crazy with their whining, quibbiling, and demanding, my kids also make me laugh and smile. I’d say the latter happens more often. Sometimes both can happen within seconds of each other.
The other day I got irritated with my son yelling/singing Jingle Bells in the back seat. Once or twice is fine, but by the fourth round of “JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL WAY!” I had to put my foot down and shout “ENOUGH!” to which my son replied, “Santa’s coming soon!” I smiled and agreed with him. Then he paused and informed me, “Santa’s coming in 40 minutes.” I laughed out loud. It made him laugh too. I just found it interesting that merely seconds beforehand, he had my blood pressure on the rise and my nerves on end, but his one funny little comment had me completely restored and happy.
Little moments like this happen several times a day every single day. I love it. It’s one part of motherhood that I am grateful for. All the smiles and laughs I get when I hear about the world from their perspective makes the crazy parts okay.
Whatdaya Know? It actually works!
Posted by: leanp on: December 8, 2009
My aunt recently sent me one of those email forwards that essentially said the best way to help relieve coughing, especially during the night, is to apply vapor rub on the soles of your feet and cover with socks. It also mentioned that it works really great for kiddos with deep ongoing coughs. It claimed that once the vapor rub and socks were on, there would be relief in an instant. I filed this information with all my other “Interesting-sounds-strange-wonder-if-I’ll-ever-really-remember-it-or-ever-use-it” info in my mental roledex.
My daughter woke up at 12:41am this morning with a terrible cough. She was miserable…stuffy nose, bad chest cough, and she had managed to get herself in a rather awkward position in her crib. The more she cried and got worked up the more aggravated her cough became. I immediately remembered this vapor rub email and applied it to my situation.
Haley quit coughing in less than a minute. She didn’t wake up or make a peep the rest of the night. As it approaches the 7am mark, she is still sleeping like a rock.
So the remedy works! I encourage you to try it on your kidlet or yourself the next time they or you have a bad cough that’s keeping you up. Also, I just had generic Walgreens vapor rub, so it doesn’t have to be a commercial brand.
Image courtesy of here
Leave Me Alone
Posted by: leanp on: November 30, 2009
- In: Domestic Diva| Life| Motherhood
- 1 Comment
Yesterday I was feeling so conflicted. I was trying to be grateful for my family and thankful for all I had, but I as also annoyed with my family. I needed them to stop bothering me. I just wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want to do one more dish. I didn’t want to fix one more toy. I didn’t want to clean up one more mess. I didn’t want to prepare one more snack or meal. I didn’t want to referee one more squabble. I didn’t want to fold one more piece of laundry. I didn’t want to hear one more kid show. I didn’t want to hear one more sports game. I just wanted to take a bath and be left alone in peace in my room.
I kept wondering, though, if I was being a brat. I was feeling guilty for wanting to be left alone. After all I am lucky to have a wonderful family, a loving husband, and a beautiful warm home, right? It’s true. But, everyone needs a break. A chance to regroup and recharge. I didn’t get my break yesterday, nor today. Maybe tomorrow. My chance will come and I will try not to feel guilty about it.
I can’t be a good mom or wife, or a fun one, if I don’t get some “me” time. This statement is just as true and as important as recognizing how lucky I am.
Image courtesy of here
Finding my “Just like mom makes”
Posted by: leanp on: November 29, 2009
Have you ever noticed how moms and grandmas seem to know all the tricks in the kitchen? They can all make a fabulous pie, they know how to prep and cook just about any cut of meat, the can make non-lumpy gravy, they know how to improvise in a recipe, and they can make comfort food so perfectly that we say ”My mom makes the best…” or “My grandmother made the best…”
I want that. How do I get that? I’m pushing 30 years old and I have yet to make a good gravy. I always have my mom make it! I have a few signature dishes in my own repertoire, like Clam Linguine, Enchilada Casserole, and Spinach Manicotti. But I can’t seem to make a successful pie crust, or create a thick bechamel sauce. I’ve wanted to try marinara from scratch but panic as to what to do after tomato sauce. I want to make a classic…like homemade mac & cheese. I’ve tried that and chili too, but can’t quite get them to “moms classic” level.
So it’s no shock that I recently shied away from the suggestion of making my own homemade broth and turkey soup. My aunt and uncle were helping me clean up Thanksgiving dinner and they asked if I wanted to save the turkey carcass. “Uh. No.” They seemed surprised…”But you can make broth and then add fresh vegetables and make turkey soup.” I didn’t know how to do that…it sounded like a lot of work. I just wanted to toss that darn carcass because I had to figure out creative recipes for the rest of my leftovers. But, they assured me it was easy and described the process. I told them I would try, that it might broaden my domestic divaness…wink wink! Honestly, there was a lot of doubt in my mind that I could pull it off.
This is my homemade turkey soup with homemade dumplings! Yup. I did it. I made the broth out of turkey bones and water. The next afternoon I mixed my broth with fresh veggies, turkey, and all sorts of herbs. I even made homemade dumplings. Why dumplings? Because I was going to add noodles but wasn’t sure if I was supposed to cook the noodles first or just put them in dry and let them cook/simmer with the soup. It was stressful trying to decide. And I really really didn’t want to call my mom or my aunt. I wanted this to be my soup. So I thought, “How about dumplings? Like chicken and dumplings, but it would be turkey instead.” And that is what I did. It turned out fabulous…
As you can tell, the pickiest eaters in the house liked it! I dare say this could be my “classic!”
Just a Thought
Posted by: leanp on: November 19, 2009
When asked “What has motherhood taught you so far?” or “What have you learned since becoming a mother?” I tend to hear fellow mammas respond, “I’ve learned how to be patient.” Or I hear, “I’ve become a more patient person since becoming a mom.” In fact, I think I have even said something along these lines. But as my patience becomes tested more and more, I realize that I am a big liar. Not only have I not become more patient, but I do believe my patience tank has gotten smaller. It takes me far less time to lose it when I am being pushed my by toddler and preschooler.
No, I am not more patient and motherhood has not taught me patience. Instead, I’m learning how to manage my impatience. Really, I am not a patient person by nature. I never have been. I don’t like to wait, I don’t like having to do things over, and most times it is just easier to get things done myself my way instead of letting someone else do it. But with kids, I have to wait because it takes little ones longer to do things–they’re learning. I have to do things over because kidlets like to help and I have to let them, even if they don’t do things right–they’re learning. And I can’t just take over and do everything for my tots because then they will NEVER learn and then I’ll really be irritated!
Yes, I’ve learned to manage my impatience. When chores take too long, or I feel like I’m yelling to two little brick walls, or I’m repeating instructions/directions over and over and over and over again, I’ve learned to put myself in my kids’ little shoes and see the world from their point of view. It’s a big, fast moving world for their little legs and hands and growing brains. I’ve learned to take a step back, take a deep breath and take things one tiny step at a time. I sit back and just watch (while repeating the mantra in my head “they’re learning, they’re learning, deep breath, they’re learning”). And when I do I am rewarded with small moments of great victories from my kids. Like when my preschooler puts his dishes in the sink without being asked, or throws away his garbage in the trash rather than in the middle of the room, or when my one year old daughter leans in at a random moment to give me a kiss.
Just a thought that’s been on my mind…
Bath Night for Triceratops
Posted by: leanp on: November 15, 2009
- In: Life| Marriage| Motherhood
- 2 Comments
I peeked over the top of my book to look at my husband who was entranced by a foot ball game on tv.
“The kids seem to be having fun upstairs,” I said. “They’ve been up there a while.”
“I noticed–”
We cocked our ears towards the ceiling as we were interrupted by the sound of running water followed by resounding laughter.
“I wonder what they are doing. They are really getting along well,” I said, “I’ve heard the water come on a couple times though. I’m not sure I want to know. Do you?
My husband looked at me and replied firmly, “I really don’t want to know. I think we should let them play a little while longer.”
“Me too,” I agreed. Then I thought for a second. I flashbacked two weeks to a moment when I didn’t want to end a phone conversation with a friend. I heard the sounds of two mischievous but happily-playing-together children in the kitchen accompanied by the sound of clanking cat dishes. I ignored them. Ten minutes later when my conversation was done, I went down stairs. I was greeted by two happy kids surrounded by a half a bin of cat food all over my kitchen floor, half of which was swollen and drowned because the water dishes had been dumped and mixed in with the spilled kibble. “Okay,” I continued, looking square into Andrew’s eyes, “but we cannot be angry with them when we do go up there. Because in this moment we are choosing not to parent, due to our desire to have just a little more peace down here. It is not their fault. Whatever they are doing, we are letting them do it.”
“Agreed.”
Three minutes later:
As I slowly reached the top of the stairs I thought to myself, “I’m just going to take a quick peek, see what their up to and then maybe sneak out before they even know I’m there.”
Not even a second later I was met by my son who was soaked. I’m talking pants sticking to his legs, water down his shirt, face splattered, and hair slightly damp head-t0-toe soaked.
*Squish, squish, squish* My son walked over to me and looked up. “Uh-oh Mamma,” he said, obviously not know whether to smile or be scared.
I held back laughter as I looked at his wet hair and water-sprinkled face. “Uh-oh!” I replied calmly. I peeked around the corner at my daughter standing in the middle of the bathroom in the same water-soaked state as her brother.
I quickly yelped my husband’s name, essentially calling for back-up. I scanned the bathroom. It literally looked like someone had split open the roof over my bathroom like the Red Sea, letting in the pouring rains of the Northwest. The walls were spattered with droplets of water, the counter was flooded, and the floor mats were drenched. As I swept my daughter into my arms and tip-toed out of the bathroom (trying not to get my socks wet), I noticed my son’s Triceratops happily floating in my husband’s sink.
“What were they doing?” Andrew asked cautiously as I exited the bathroom past him.
“Oh, it looks like it was bath night for triceratops,” I answered in a casual tone.
After the kids were changed, Andrew occupied them with a game of chase-hide-and-go-seek-tag while I mopped up the bathroom. The damage was impressive. They even managed to soak the 15 rolls of toilet paper that live in the cabinet underneath the sink.
I made mention recently that my children get along the best when they are creating mischief and tonight proved that very point. My kids were not in any trouble tonight, though it does look like we’ll be setting boundaries on dinosaur baths.
“Oh well,” my husband conceded, “It could have been worse.”
“Definitely. Way worse,” I agreed with a smile and headed to the laundry room with an arm load of wet towels and floor mats.
It’s the Little Moments
Posted by: leanp on: November 14, 2009
- In: Life| Motherhood
- 1 Comment
My children are one and three years old. This combination of ages has proven to be my toughest season yet. I am teaching one to walk and the other to use the potty. I am teaching one to use a spoon and fork and the other how to use proper table manners. I am teaching one all the animals that live on the farm (and the sounds they make) and teaching the other where he lives and the actual names of his family members (in case he ever gets lost). I am teaching one how to stack blocks and the other how to share blocks. The list goes on and on. And with two kidlets messes are twice as big, the whining is twice as much, the constant hunger is twice as often, and the noise level in the house is twice as loud. But in all this swirling activity, frustration, and general hulaballoo I am able able to pick out the moments that peek through and remind me of the best parts of motherhood. Some of my favorite mom moments:
1) Rocking my little one in the quiet dark of the late night or wee hours of the morning when they are scared or sick.
2) Witnessing a big brother share a toy or snack with his little sister–unprompted–with a tender, “Here you go.”
3) Listening to the laughter and tiny giggles of little ones who are absorbed in their own made-up games.
4) Watching kidlet faces light up when daddy walks in the door from work.
5) Hearing a big brother ask his baby sister, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” when she is crying, follwed by “It’s okay Haleybug.”
6) Feeling little arms cling around my neck in shyness or fear.
7) Hearing the words “Thanks Mamma.” and “Day ku.”
Conversing with a three-year old and hearing his funny and sometimes surprisingly logical perspective about the world around him. Example: *Noticing someone struggling to start her car in the store parking lot* He says in a serious tone, “That car’s not working.” I reply, “It’s not working? I wonder why?” He responds with his eyes fixed upon the troubled situation, “It needs batteries.”
It’s these moments that I notice and file in my mental mommy roledex. I always add to them and I bring them out on my most challenging days. And though these are tiny snapshots that last seconds, they make a lasting impression on my spirit. They make me happy to be a mom.
Did I Just Say That Part 2
Posted by: leanp on: November 12, 2009
Here are more comments I have heard myself make to my children. What is funny about these is the fact I always knew I would probably say them when I became a mom, but I found myself surprised when I heard them actually come out of my mouth. Even more interesting is that my kids are only one and three years old! I still have a lifetime of motherhood to go 
1) “Hands to yourself please.”
2)”Because I said so.”
3) “I’m your mother. I just know.”
4) “We don’t dump your friends out of the pool. That’s not nice.”
5) “Never pull the kitty’s tail. Would you like it if I pulled your tail?”
6) “If you don’t eat your dinner, you’ll get nothing until breakfast.”
7) “I’m sorry you’re hungry, but that’s what happens when you don’t eat your breakfast.”
“You are driving me CRAZY!”
9) “You are driving me NUTS!”
10) “Don’t sit too close to the tv, you’ll hurt your eyes.”
11) “No. No tv this morning. Too much tv is bad for your brain.”
12) “No. You may not have cookies for breakfast.”
13) “Nope. Candy is not for breakfast either.”
14) “Sorry you’re cold. That’s why I told you to put on a coat.”
15) “Do you need to go potty?”
16) “We are not leaving this house until you go potty!”
17) “Oh crap. That one was totally mommy’s fault.”
20) “Daddy’s at work! Besides, if daddy were here, he would have put you in timeout too!”
21) “Wow, it sure is late. Bedtime!!” *even though the clock only says 7pm, but I’m at my wits end*
22) “Mealtime is for eating NOT for playing.”
23) “Don’t do that. It’s rude!”
24) “Don’t say that. It’s rude!”
25) “What do you say?”
26) “You say excuse me. Not ‘that was a big one.’”
27) “You need to say you’re sorry.”
28) “NOW!”
29) “TIMEOUT!”
30) “That is not a play area.”
31) “Please stop eating the cat food.”
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