Domestic Diva Chronicles

“Where did you get those sunglasses?” I inquired to Sean as I admired the snazzy black shades with silver hearts on the sides.

“I found them here. They came from the store,”  Sean responded sheepishly. I was confused. I never  bought sunglasses nor did I remember Sean asking for sunglasses.

Me: “Which store?”

Sean: “The one with the star on it.”

I still couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. Where did these sunglasses come from?  After asking a multitude of questions, my husband and I finally ended with, “Sean did you take these sunglasses from the store?”  I mean, after the whole conversation the only thing that made the most sense was that Sean must have shoplifted them. We didn’t buy them, he said they came from the store, and that he found them.

So we were faced with our first parenting (and hopefully only!) experience in shoplifting. I took Sean back to the store I figured shades came from. The manager and I walked to the sunglasses display… without prompting Sean pointed to an empty hook and said,  ”I found them right here.”

From there ensued one of my proudest parenting moments for Sean. He stood tall in front of me and looked that manager square in the eye. Clearly nervous and feeling terrible he said to her, “I am so sorry. I am so sorry I took the sunglasses from your store. I won’t ever do it  again.” The manager forgave him and asked if he learned his lesson. He nodded yes.

On the way home I told Sean I was proud of him for doing the right thing and reassured him that he was not going to jail. He was really worried about going to jail. I told him, however, if he ever stole again that I would take him to the jail to show him where shoplifters spend their time.

When the sun came up the next day I got a message from my friend asking if she had left her sunglasses at my house.

Dear reader, the only phrase that came to my mind in that moment was “oh shit.” All the confusion from the day before,  the vision of my little Peanut bravely confessing and apologizing to the store manager, the wave of proud parenting I was riding, came crashing down around me. I felt sick. I felt lower than I did when I thought my son shoplifted merchandise.

After describing what her sunglasses looked like, there was nothing left to do but admit I had made a terrible mistake and smother my son with hugs and apologies. Somehow I had made my son confess to something he didn’t do. My  husband said we bullied him, though I promise we never yelled at or threatened Sean in our information gathering stage. Sean’s demeanor and confusion all made sense to me… of course he found them–in our house. In his mind and experience the things in our house come from the store. Ugh.

Do you know what Sean said to me when I apologized to him for the 50,000th time? He held me by the shoulders and looked at me in the eye and said, “Mom. It’s okay. It’s really okay.”  I learned some very important things about Sean that day. He’s a people-pleaser. He knew his dad and I were upset and looking for something specific from him so he gave in. He followed through until we were happy. He’ll go to the extreme to make sure we are happy with him… our approval of him matters. He’s intuitive and forgiving. Sean is the best little boy a mom could have as a son. I am bursting with pride for him, and I’m all verklempt trying to even explain it to you.

I righted my wrong with Sean and I also made right my mistake with the store. I went back, on my own, to get my friend’s sunglasses back. The manager was glad I did because she couldn’t find any information about them!  Of course not, they weren’t from her store!